How People Will Know
I have three kids, a 15 year-old daughter and twins, boy and girl, who are 12. Raising kids is no easy feat; raising kids who love Jesus and are called to make the world better is even harder.
As most of us will remember from childhood, kids are cruel. Growing up, you may have been the cruel one or the victim of the cruel ones. I’m happy to say that 85-90% of the time, my three are loving and caring, especially towards those being bullied or who have special needs. I feel myself beaming with pride when they come home from school and tell me how they stood up for someone who was being mistreated or left out.
Then there are days where they come home with stories of “I can’t stand her because…”, “He’s so ugly…”, “He has serious anger issues and is always getting in trouble…”, “There’s something wrong with her…”
As a mom, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of either wanting to know if your child was mistreated and running your own mouth to their defense, or there’s that curiosity inside you that wants to hear what happened.
There are several things we have to realize in these situations, though:
We aren’t preparing our kids to be “good people” now or as adults.
We’re teaching our kids that gossiping is acceptable.
We aren’t teaching our kids one of the key things Jesus said before leaving this earth—A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35
Situations like kids commenting on the way someone looks aren’t that difficult to handle. This is simple judgement. We’ve always talked about different races and religions and not judging people based on anything like that. We are all equal and were all worth dying for. However, when it comes to things on the outside like what some people wear or if they aren’t very attractive, kids are quick to rush to judgement. I think we all are. The lesson here is to always remember that we were ALL worth dying for. We should never judge someone based on outer appearance. We are not to judge based on anything…period. We are called to love.
When gossiping enters the home as soon as they get off the bus, I nip it in the bud immediately. This is an easy one to get caught up in because curiosity gets the best of us at times. I know I want to know that the “troublemaker kids” did. But, this curiosity is gossip. Gossiping about a child no less. Let’s call it what it is, gossip is judgement. Again, we aren’t called to judge. We are called to love.
When I get a report that someone was mean to one of my kids, of course I want to jump to their defense. Depending on the situation, I might have to. However, these situations are usually able to be handled by the kids themselves. There’s still a lesson in this, though. There’s a reason the other person is acting the way they are. We’ve all heard it said that hurt people hurt people. This is a great opportunity to teach the kids not to be angry, but to pray. Pray for the other person’s situation and speak healing over them. Pray they will be able to forgive these kids and love them, even if it’s only from afar.
All these lessons I talk about teaching my kids, I do my best to live by, too. It’s not always easy. I’m a work in progress, but my goal every day is to be that person who, not only loves, but loves well. Who loves others like Jesus loves us, with no conditions, expectations, or need for love in return—just love.
