What then?
In the gospel of Matthew, the Sadducees and Pharisees were quizzing Jesus on Mosaic law. One of them, a lawyer, tried to trip Him up by asking about the greatest commandment. Jesus provided the first commandment, see Matthew 22:28, and then said "The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others]'. Matthew 22:39, Amplified, emphasis mine.
This sounds easy enough. Especially, when Jesus goes on to say the rest of the laws were dependent upon these two commandments.
Loving people. It's how I try to live my life. It's the legacy I want to leave behind for my children. I try to teach them to love others by focusing on what people may be going through - hurt people, hurt people. But what happens when we encounter someone truly unloveable - someone so miserable, so mean, so…let me just say it…horrible, that we can't love them? They make us feel feelings Christians shouldn't feel about people. Then what?
To protect the person, we'll call her Sally.
I'm telling you, I tried. I tried and I tried again. I smiled, I prayed, and I asked my friends and family to pray for me. I offered Sally extra help, I made pleasant conversation which was ignored; I tried everything but buying my way into this woman's life, and nothing worked. She looked at me with such disdain, I'd have to look away.
See, Sally wasn't just anybody, she was my boss. I had to see her every single day. There was no way I could avoid interaction and hope the problem would go away. Plus, I'm an adult, nearing my 50s to be exact. I can't just avoid the "mean girl" like I used to when I was a kid. I'm also trying to live life according to God's word and His will, not mine. In Luke 6:33 Jesus tells us, "If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same." Ouch.
My pastor taught me how to handle these situations:
Pray for Sally the same way you pray for yourself.
Pray for her and her husband the way you pray for you and your husband.
Pray for her children and extended family the way you pray for yours.
I'll confess that I haven't been able to pray this way yet, because these prayers still leave a bad taste in my mouth. After all, I'm still hurting. Eventually, I know the prayers will come easier and I'll even start to mean them after a while because with each one, God will soften my heart towards Sally and I will be able to say that I love and forgive her.
In case you're wondering how it ended, I resigned with some of my dignity still intact on the day I realized I didn't belong there because I'm a daughter of the King and deserve better. I deserve to be loved.
